As advertised in TrueHoop, I've altered my Sunday TV rituals to tune in to the Chris Paul PBA Celebrity Invitational. Basically, we're a center short of the best fantasy basketball team of 08-09 going head to head in an activity whose designation as a "sport" remains openly debated.Observations/commentary:
- Kevin Durant's weird, abbreviated stroke is the bowling equivalent of Shawn Marion's jumpshot.
- LeBron is texting an awful lot.
- Actually, KD's form is more effective than you'd think (just like Marion's jumper.) He got hot and went spare/spare/strike/spare to close out a game.
- There's generally very little interaction between ballers and their teammates. Eye contact is awkwardly limited. Either the pros either don't know who these NBA players are or professional bowling is just that intense.
- I keep kind of expecting Rudy Gay to dive into another lane and try to swat somebody's roll.
- LeBron just did his chalk thing before his first roll... and promptly guttered for a single pin. Apparently he's just adjusting to something called a "scorpion oil pattern." Stay tuned.
- Why isn't Michael K. Williams around for this? He seems like he ought to be just sort of hanging out... And did Tristan Wilds' invitation get lost or something?
- LeBron has now taught his partner, a guy named Jason Couch, that double-hand-slap thing. I think this might signal that this pasty dude with the thinning hair is going to be a bench forward for the Cavs this season- presumably as a replacement for Drew Gooden.
- Chris Paul can name almost everybody on the PBA and seems dead serious about wanting to pursue a pro career after hoops. He's already ranked #3 on GMTR's pro bowling keeper league ranks for the 2024 season.
- LeBron is up to speed, narrowly missed a "hambone" in the 5th frame, registers a triple-double anyway. FreeDarko has already started a new expanded appendices for the paperback edition of their book.
- These announcers are the bowling analog to Hubie and Stephen A.
- Paul opened the finals with a strike, then chest-bumped his partner. This Barnes guy is apparently the only other person in the room who can plausibly afford a Phantom. I am, nonetheless, totally underwhelmed.
- Chris Bosh is watching this somewhere in his Jesus Quintana costume, pissed off that now he has to do re-writes.
- I hope and pray that LeBron will do his "pin wiggle" dance after drawing an and-1 in, like, a Bulls game or something. It will probably be on YouTube forever.
- A pro-bowler just attempted a White Men Can't Jump reference, fell totally flat, pretended everybody thought it was funny. Which itself was pretty damned funny.
- Chris Paul bowls in power blue Jordans. Does Nike make those wrist-gaurd things with the Air logo? Because they probably will now.
- James/Couch win. Paul is very clearly shown-up. I am now officially rooting for a Cavs/Hornets NBA Finals...
How is this not an event at All-Star weekend!?
0 comments:
Post a Comment